Pirata's Stories

i love this piece.  for me it is a summer night.  

its a night from this summer, actually.  

Clair de Lune

i was taking the long way home, walking a few stops past the station i would normally take to get on the L and go home.  it was nice out.  a summer night with a cool breeze. 

i was wearing a green skirt that was nice and light and came down to the top of my calves.  i was wearing a pair of nice, light sandals with a bit of a heel on them, a little different from my usual steel toes, but it fit the weather and my mood.  

i was walking a little slower than usual, just kind of taking my time and taking everything in, listening to this very tune on my ipod.  i had left a friend’s house and was pretty happy; it was an enjoyable evening.  for being in a popular area, there weren’t many people around.  it was nice and quiet.  well, as quiet as it can get in brooklyn.  

i passed a guy in an ice cream truck, which seemed to illuminate everything in its presence.  the ice cream man stuck his head out of the window and said “its a great night for some ice cream - whatddya say?”   why not?  i got my favorite, chocolate vanilla twist in a cone.  and off i went tra-la-la with my ice cream like a happy little kid.  

i passed a bar and as i read the sign above it i had a momentary flashback to an ex-boyfriend telling me about “this super awesome bar” with the same name as this sign… we did not part on good terms and i dreaded ever seeing his face, knowing the anger that would build up in me from such.  for a long time i had had a bone to pick and a few to break.  with all of this happening in a mere second, my heart squeezed up as i dared to look into the window and see if this poor excuse for a man was indeed in there and oh god! possibly see me and come running out.  what would i say?!  damnit why wasn’t i wearing my steel toes?!  ah and i can’t even run in these.  damn damn damn! maybe i can just pretend he does not exist and ignore him.  yes. that is what i will do.  and i looked into the massive front window, scanning the revelers inside…

nope.  not there.

phew.

sigh.

the ice cream was melting and i nearly forgot about it.  licking up the toppling cold and sweet ice cream, i felt at peace again and continued strolling down the street.  my breathing was deep and full again.  my pulse had a regular rate and rhythm.  the music was oddly chaotic at the moment of my own chaotic thoughts but was nice and smooth once again, just as i was.  on we flowed.

i took my glasses off, giving my eyes a break.  my prescription is not too bad. i mostly use my glasses for reading or if i have to meet someone somewhere crowded.  sometimes i don’t wear them on purpose when i go out because then everyone looks just a bit more attractive.  ;)  haha

so on i walked, and as a couple approached me on the sidewalk i heard it.  

i heard his voice.  unmistakably his.  and oddly enough this song was at one its more complex parts.  and then something happened.  the music’s complexity seemed so much more plain to me than it was before.  and then my own complexities seemed to dissolve as well.  and then it did not matter who was there on that sidewalk because i felt so light that nothing could bring me down, kind of like a feather caught up in a gust of air - chase it all you want but it’s floating up up up higher than anyone can reach.  

and so i walked, eating my ice cream, and enjoyed the summer air without a care in the world.  you know, i might have even been smiling. 

as they passed, i heard him stutter as he must have recognized me.  he was also with a girl, of whom i am sure would not be impressed were he to chase down his ex-girlfriend.  knowing this and knowing him, i walked on, confident my night was safe from the horrors i had dreamt of not more than a few moments ago, despite walking right by them.

(originally written 1 December 2009)