Pirata's Stories

Matt

where to begin.   i suppose near the beginning.  the first interaction.  a rave circa 2000 or so.  i was working the Dancesafe table. 

matt: “hey! you girls are swell.  can i be part of Dancesafe too?”
me: “um.  well.  you have to be sober.  and you are um…”
matt: ”oh definitely not. nope nope nope”
me: ”yeah so, sorry.”
matt: ”oh fucksticks.  are you sure i can’t help?”
me: “uuum… hrm.  here, how bout this - go around and if you find any real fucked up people let me know.”
matt: “great!”
…an hour later…
matt: “alright.  i went around.  i told them to put their hand up like in school and you’d come help.”
*looks around*  *at least a dozen kids in k holes or cuddle puddles with hands up in the air without any idea as to why*  
matt:  ”oh!  i almost forgot!  i ALSO tagged em real good with those stickers you give out.”
*looks closer at kids with hands in air*  *they have Dancesafe stickers on their butts and backs and some real fucked up kids have em on their foreheads*
matt:  *wipes hands off*  ”wow.  this whole ‘saving the rave’ thing sure is a breeze.  glad i could help.  see ya later.”

and so the matt shenanigans began.  some of my favorite moments in matt history:

• the time he used an undercover cop’s FACE to get up from the ground
• the time i found him scraped up and bloody in a barricaded bar basement full of liquor, with no recollection of scaling the barricade to get back there
• the time he found keith and i passed out on a movie set in Toronto 
• the times we would somehow sneak 40s into bars and drink them without getting caught
• the time he ran up to me in beer tent in Bobcageon and dumped K all over my hand and ran away.  my face:  whaaaaaaaaaa?
• the time we made paper mached butts for a booty house party
• the times we spanked random people with big wooden spoons at a tiesto party
• the times we picked random people out of a phonebook and wrote them love letters
• the time we took all those crab claws from the chinese buffet and pinched people’s butts with them at a party later that night
• the time he told people his name was mateo and then half of buffalo was calling him “tae” for short, without the slightest idea his name was matthew
• the time he bought me a really ugly fish and named it Sampson from the character in Half Baked
• the time he told everyone i was his girlfriend (he’s very much so gay.)
• the time i made him and Llama cry in his tent at WEMF when i told them they wouldn’t be able to dance in a wheelchairs because that’s where they’d be if they kept doing so much K
• the time in high school when my mom kicked me out of the house and he let me live with him until i left for college
• the times he let me borrow his car if i agreed to call myself his fiance and let him tell his factory co workers that he was going to marry a doctor
• the time he was on house arrest and really easy to find
• the time the feds destroyed his arts and crafts supplies and made him cry over scissors and glitter
• the time during a blizzard when we got on snow gear and hiked through 7 feet of snow to get to the bar
• the time we were a family in a house in a bad part of the west side of buffalo, full of other kids from broken homes

he is easily one of the craziest individuals i have ever met but also one of the sweetest.  its a rare sweetness though.  he burns bridges as if he were leaking kerosene, but for some reason him and i never stopped caring about each other.  he’s also the only guy to ever have called me Princess and maybe if i could stop laughing every time he said it, i would’ve tried to stop him.  he’s got a certain madness i can’t help but love.   this photo is recent and he’s cleaned up a lot.  i hope he stays good and clean, but you never know what misfortunes may bring those closest to you, no matter how much you love them and hope for the best because you’ve seen the giant heart they have.